Do you read me?

Joint Marital Blog!

2009-08-22T11:32:00.000-07:00

The time has come my friends, for the solo Adventures of Pam to come to an end, and the joint adventures of SchnakeKolbas to take flight.

That is to say, this blog will no longer be in use due to the recent birth of our new JOINT MARITAL BLOG www.schnakekolbas.blogspot.com, please make the move with me and join us there!

love,
Pamela
P.S. don't forget to add us to your google reader ;-)

Recetas Latinas Saludables

2009-08-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago Michael brought home a little goodie bag that the "foodies" (health and urban agriculture department) at his organization were giving out for free. In this goodie bag was a treasure so wonderful that I must share it with my blog reading friends: A small little cookbook called Recetas Latinas Saludables, or Healthy Latin Recipes Made with Love. It is a collection of recipes published by Champions for Change gathered from Latina women in California which are healthy versions of typical dishes . Though my usual cooking method relies more on reading several internet recepies until I can come up with some combination that uses the ingredients I have on hand than on cookbooks, I have been cooking almost exclusively from this cookbook for the last couple of weeks and am loving it. (as is Michael) The ingredients are mostly inexpensive (especially living this close to the border), the recipes are all very healthy, and the food is DELICIOUS. Our favorites so far were the Sopa de Abondigas (to which I reccomend adding a healthy dose of cilantro) and Mango Black Bean Burritos.

This past week at the farmer's market I came across a second edition from the same group called Soulful Recipes - equally delicious and healthy looking soul food recipes. I can't wait to try it out!

Cooking these recipes not only provides me with delicious and nutritios meals, it was also a fun way to connect with the ethnic groups directly around our home. Now if only they would publish verions for Somali and Vietnamese food I'd be set!

East City Heights

2009-08-12T09:14:00.000-07:00

It is cool and overcast in City Heights this morning. Growing up in Oregon I never fully appreciated the wonder of an overcast morning. The cool misty fog spreads a layer of calm over the otherwise baking and busy street that we live on.

As I get up and prepare our ritual oatmeal and coffee this morning, the language I hear spoken outside my windows is Spanish. About every 30 minutes a car drives by blasting some form of Mexican music. Michael and I love this.

If you turn down the block however, you realize this is not merely another Latino neighborhood in San Diego, but something much more strange and interesting. Just around the corner a Vietnamese husband and wife sell an odd assortment of vacuum cleaners, DVD players, and other garage sale items (incidentally this is where I purchased my vacuum and DVD player 2 weeks ago for $20 each, the former of which works great and the later... not so much). Walk another block down and you come upon Buddhist monks in their bright orange robes preparing to serve the daily bread line at their brightly painted temple. Across the street from the temple Somali women draped in richly textured cloths from head to toe carry their groceries on their heads. Or maybe they are coming from the hair salon around the corner which advertises private rooms for Muslim women.

If I were to walk down my street in the other direction I would be greeted by friendly African-American women sitting in plastic chairs in front of their appartments. A young white couple walking down the street would look rather out of place on these blocks. How strange we must have seemed two nights ago playing croquet in our front yard with five of our friends. And yet "strange" takes on a different meaning on Altadena Ave. Everyone seems to take it in stride.

Houses in my neighborhood vary in size and maitenence, though most tend on the smaller side. Some are falling apart with dirt lawns, others have gardens more meticulously maintained than I've seen in the ritziest suburbs (albiet with more practical and productive vegitation). The cars are similarly diverse, from the souped up racers to the ancient camper vans blaring tinny music and plastered with ice-cream labels.

Just three blocks from our house is a large park where Thai women get their morning exercise under the protective shade of an umbrella or large hat, Mexican women burn off calories in swishy pants and long sleeved shirts. I'm probably the only person "working on my tan" in the whole neighborhood.

In this same park we gathered a week ago with our Asain, Latin, and African neighbors for our local National Night Out event. We ate hot-dogs, painted tiles, listened to brief speaches from localrepresentatives and politicians, watched the Asian youth preform impressive breakdancing stunts on the grass, and finally marched around the park chanting "No more violence!" We paused on the edge of this park at the small memorial cross of a young Mexican youth who was gunned down here two years ago. The fervor of our chanting increases as we brandish our candles in his memory and chant "No more violence! No more violence!"

Michael and I LOVE this.

Blogging bug is back

2009-08-06T11:24:00.001-07:00

Since beginning my new life in San Diego I have suddenly rediscovered the urge to blog. There are so many new sights and thoughts and things to share about. On the downside, we don't have internet at our house (except for the ocassional 5 minute spurt of catching the one very weak unprotected signal here and there). We are looking at sharing internet with our neighbors however, and if this should happen I believe a new blog may emerge - a joint authorship between my husband and myself. For the time being, and in the spirit of taking advantage of free library internet, I thought an update might be in order.

A lot has happened in the last 2 months (wait, no, 3 months, has it really been 3 months since we graduated?!). So many life changes rolled up into one. Graduating and getting married have already been covered with their own brief picture posts so I will begin the update where the last post left off.

After a fantastic wedding Michael and I spent the night in Portland and then headed to Kauai for a week long honeymoon in his parent's time share on the island. I so wish I had pictures of this beautiful week to share with you all, but alas our camera was caught by a sneaker wave and killed and we haven't been able to acess the pictures from it yet.

Next came a week long stay at my parents house where my sister, adorable nephew, brother, and brother-in-law were all present. It was again, a terrific week, beautiful to spend this time with my nearest and dearest. I treasured every moment with my nephew and sister. It was sad to leave.

But leave we did, our little green echo packed to the gills, ready to start our new Californian life. Despite a certain aversion to California that I think all Oregonians might be genetically endowed with, I knew the Lord was calling us to San Diego, and it was exciting to see what this new chapter held. We drove through the incredible Redwoods, along the coast, and finally though the desolate Central Valley before landing in Temecula, at Michael's parent's house.

We arrived in So Cal just 2 days before Michael's new job began. This time held a bit of anxiety as it involved: frantically looking for a job, Michael commuting into San Diego most days (though it's only an hour, not too bad) and us spending the night at our friend's Chaz and Rebeccas 1 or 2 nights a week. We never knew from one week to the next where we would be living or what I would be doing. It was like someone pressed the pause button right at the most suspenseful part of the movie...

...And then they hit play and everything whirred back into lightning speed. The commuting lasted about three weeks before we had an opportunity to house sit just South of the city. On the same day that the house sitting option became available I was called in for an interview. The next day I was hired. The job is not exactly what I had in mind, but I hear that finding exactly what one had in mind is quite rare. The funny part is that this job is the exact same job that Michael has - volunteer coordinating for a refugee resettlement organization through Americorps funding. (Only I'm a Vista and he's a State and National VIP, which means nothing to anyone unless they've done americorps).
My job has not started yet. I was origionally told it would start mid August, but due to annoying funding issues I won't start until the end of August.

The day I was hired for this job I switched my Craigslist search from job postings to appartment postings. There sitting in the ads was our ideal home at our ideal rental price. We went out to look at it the next day and signed the contract on the spot.
It is the most adorable little one bedroom duplex with a real life yard all to ourselves! I was hoping to post pictures here today, but I grabbed the wrong cord on the way out the door, so they are trapped inside my camera. The yard and cuteness of our home are only icing on the cake, however, in comparison to the incredible neighborhood we are in and the proximity of the house to both of our jobs (well, one of Michael's anyway, as he splits his time between two).
The nieghborhood is called City Heights, it is the neighborhood where most refugees who come into the city resettle and also has a very high Latino population. We have heard that it is supposed to be one of the more run down and "dangerous" neighborhoods in the city, however, so far I've found nothing but love for this incredibly diverse and beautiful community. I have so much more to say about it, that will have to be a post of it's own.

So that's where we are now, and life is rolling by. I suppose it feels a little like someone hit pause again as I wait for my job to start, but it's more of an intermission. Time to refocus and come back to earth before launching off again. Michael is enjoying his job. I'm getting the house all in order. We're involved with a great little Christian "intentional community" a couple neighborhoods away, and slowly but surely we're getting to know our neighbors.

And that is enough detail for one library session.
love,
Pamela

Get Married: Check

2009-07-23T12:51:00.001-07:00

More photos to follow soon.

P.S. I almost forgot, the rest of the photos can be viewed here: http://www.pictage.com/675142

Graduate College. Check.

2009-05-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys. I would give captions, but blogger is is being too difficult. Maybe later...

(The bridge where he proposed)

Yep. Still alive.

2009-01-24T07:10:00.000-08:00

For those of you who depend entirely on my blog to know if or if not I am alive, I have finally given in and will now attempt a post. Something about constant Internet communication as my main means of expressing myself as well as frequent and required introspection for the entire duration of my time abroad made it seem necessary for a bit of a blogger hiatus. So here's what's happened over the last couple months:

-Dec. 3 I came home from Nicaragua to meet a beaming Michael waiting for me in the airport (and my lovely mother as well).
-We spent 11 days at my house spending time with my family, cuddling, wedding planning, watching movies, and decorating for Christmas.
- We set out in less than ideal driving conditions for the two day drive South to Temecula - spending our hours reading 1984 outloud to each other, visiting our dear friend (and my current roommate) who did HNGR in the Phillipines, and outrunning winter-storms (we stayed about 2 hours ahead of the worst of it for almost our entire drive).
-I spent 9 days with Michael's family which included continued cuddling and reading outloud but also included indoor skydiving (in a big wind-tunnle that makes you fly) my favorite sushi, a trip to San Diego with Chaz and Rebecca to assess the option of moving there, and getting engagement photos done. (the plan was to show a sampling here but the photo app. doesn't seem to be working at the moment...)
-After a bit of an arduous journey I made it home just in time for Christmas Eve morning. I had a lovely Christmas with my family (and Michael with his) and spent the next 10 days, seeing a delightfully long list of old and dear friends (Rachel, Nicci, Jenny, Hannah, Meagan and Tone). I spent many hours cooking and my mom and I worked out wedding details, lists, etc. (enough so that I haven't had to even think about it since I've been back at school).
-Jan. 5 I flew to chilly Illinois.
-Jan. 6-11 I travelled to beautiful Northern Wisconsin with the other 28 HNGR students for a lovely retreat which included laughter and tears, cross country skiing and sledding, several cups of hot chocolate a day, and a private moon-lit sley ride for Michael and I arranged by my very sweet roommate.
-Since then I've been back at Wheaton settling in to my rather crowded but love filled house off campus, pretending like I still care about school, cooking meals with Michael, and catching up with a few dear friends.

How's that for an update?
love,
Pamela
P.S. and in case you've really lost track of me: I graduate in May and will be married in June. ;)

Finishing.

2008-11-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

Well the time has come, and the end is here. In 5 days I will board a plan bound for the U.S. and leave this place that has been my home. While I have to admit that more than anything I am really excited about this (Michael will be meeting me at the airport), I am also happy to say that I feel I am ending well. I am glad to know that I am leaving people who I will miss and who will miss me in turn. I have learned so much, and though it has been a struggle, things at my job are ending very positively as well.

I don't know how much I've detailed it on this blog, but the work I have been doing here has been developing, distributing, and analyzing a survey to gather information about the Evangelical Church in Nicaragua. It has been quite the process, but in the end, it has turned out really well. I have worked hard these last three weeks on compiling all of the surveys we collected, and then going through the information and drawing it into some analysis. Although there were times when it didn't seem possible, I have actually ended up with a positive contribution to the Nehemiah Center and to the "Healthy Church Project" I've been working on with a team of Nicaraguan pastors. I think the best way to sum up this experience is that in my time here I have overcome some big obstacles, and I feel proud of that, and I have been defeated and beat down by other obstacles, and I learned more about myself and my weaknesses through that, so I am thankful for that too. I have also learned so much from the Nehemiah Center and by working on this project about about myself, about the world, and about God's Kingdom. I leave with a new vision for the church as an agent of transformation in society (to borrow Rene Padilla's inspiring title). Though it has been a difficult journey I am leaving with a sure knowledge that I have grown in both knowledge and character through this experience. Thank you all who have journeyed with me through it.

Love,

Pamela

Make Something Day.

2008-11-20T06:37:00.000-08:00

I can't think of anything I would rather promote around this time of the year than Make Something Day, bringing many of my most favorite things together - saving money, hand-made things, and giving gifts. Take my advice and check out.

P.S. that's the first time I've figured out how to put a link into words. I know I'm a little behind the game, but I've gotta say... I'm pretty proud!

Don't believe everything you read in TIME magazine...

2008-11-14T06:14:00.000-08:00

Especically regarding sensationalist articals about Nicaraguan politics.

But, the re-count confirmed the same results. We're yet to see just what exactly will come out of all of this.

Elections in Nicaragua

2008-11-13T06:31:00.000-08:00

First of all, if any of you are avid news readers and have caught wind of the current unrest in Nicaragua, I want to assure you that I am totally safe, and there is really no danger of me being not safe even if things continue to escalate.

To the rest of you who are wondering why I would need to make that statement:
We had elections for mayors this past Sunday (mayor is a more important office in this political system), and they haven't gone well. Violence has been escalating, and both sides are accusing the other of foul play. They are doing a re-count today, but the fear is this will actually only cause more violence because the Sanandista party (President Ortega's party) is already sure that they've won, and the opposing PLC says it was rigged from the beginning and they won't accept the recount, so either way the results could cause more violence. Bags of burned PLC ballots were found in the dump in multiple municipalities, but the Sanandistas claim they were planted there, and there has been irregularities in the numbers in several municipalities as well.
As I said, I'm safe, I life on the outskirts of the city, a good ways from any violent activity, and I won't be travelling into the city center any time soon.
But, please pray for our country, and especially this city, Managua. Pray that things will be calmed down soon, and that somehow the truth will come out. My bosses are predicting that it's looking like the only thing that could come out of this is another negotiation between the two "caldeos" (strong men) of the country and leaders of these two parties, likely an underhanded deal which will give more power to these power hungry men. It's a really complicated situation, but it is consistent with the history of political movements in the country dating back to the Colonial era.
I'll let you know if anything else happens.

I went to Guatemala!

2008-10-31T13:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I actually got back almost two weeks ago. But they have been a busy couple of weeks, so forgive for the delayed picture presentation.

Without further adue - Central American HNGR Interns Vacation 2008

Me, Austin, David, and Sheryl. A diverse and lovely bunch.

The ruins of Tikal! Oh my gosh. So amazing.

We got this lovely riverside bungalow all to ourselves for 2 days. It rained the whole time, but we didn't even mind one bit. Just made a better excuse to sit around reading, doing puzzles, and playing yahtzi!

David and Austin. This is Austin's favorite fruit in Guatemala, mostly because it looks so weird. It tastes pretty good too though.

Here are Sheryl and I at some ruins in Antigua, the beautifully preserved (albiet very touristy) Colonial Capital of Central America.

It was a really nice trip.

Since then I also spent some days with a short term missions team in the Northern part of Nicaragua. It was a good experience. I was a translator (I know right? My Spanish is improving for sure, but they were also a little desprate), and I really enjoyed seeing the rural community we were working in, and the extra acceptance I got from the local Nicaraguans as a translator rather than a member of the team. :-)

Yesterday I tried on my wedding dress and it is just about all finished! It turned out sooo lovely! I wish I could post pictures here... but then Michael would see them, so you'll just have to wait until June 13, 2009, or after when pictures will be posted without hesitation.

I am a feminist.

2008-10-22T11:02:00.001-07:00

I own it and I declare it. The mistreatment, the neglect, the opression of women has lasted too long. Too long. The church has not taken a stand. The church has been silent. The church has promoted it rather than healed it. It is wrong.

In Nicaragua 70% of church members are women. Virtually no women are pastors, though ironically in this machismo driven society I have encountered more women pastors than I ever have seen in the states. I have learned there is room for the word "pastora" - "pastor" doesn't have to be only a masculine word. 70% of church members are women, yet women are not in church leadership. Is there something wrong with this picture? Yes.

In Nicaragua infidelity in marraige is the norm rather than the exception. Women have told me this. They have pleaded with me to make their voices known. I have told men. They have told me it's not true. They have told me my sources are emotionally involved and unreliable. This is wrong. I know women who are raped by their husbands. They can't do anything about it. They know that if they left their husband the chances are too strong that they would never find anyone different, anyone better. This is WRONG.

I have sat in meetings where decisions are being made about what we consider a "healthy church." I have seen the parts which speak specifically to women's issues be disregarded and thrown out. The parts I insisted we put in on behalf of those women who pleaded with me to make their voices known. I've sat there silent and helpless as no one took a stand. I was the only female in a roomfull of powerful men.
So this is what it is to not have a voice.

What are we going to do? I am going to start by telling you:
I am a feminist.
Do I love men? Yes. And I believe they should be treated well too.
Do I think women must work outside the home? No. That's not what it means to be a feminist. I plan to be a stay at home mom for a good chunk of my life, if the Lord permits, and I think it's a wonderful and respectable job (as is being a stay at home father).
Do I believe we need to fight for change? Yes. I believe it on behalf of my Nicaraguan sisters. I believe it on behalf of all of the unheard voices - of minority races, of the poor, of the two-thirds world. I believe it when I see that the church is the most exclusionary institution in the United States, when I admit to my pastor here that there is a difference between how women are treated in the church and how they are treated in the rest of society. I am admitting this, not happily reporting it as I should be if the church is really the agent of change it is called to be.
I have sat in a room of powerful men as they made a decision not to hear the voices I have heard. I have cried over this.
I pray: Come Lord Jesus Come.

October.

2008-10-08T10:25:00.001-07:00

September has come and gone without much flourish or excitment. October is now here, and things are picking back up. Here is a quick run-down.

October has been:
-Recovering from a bad case of the flu. (And before you say that I've been sick the whole time I've been here, let me remind you that I've been here over 4 months and have only been sick 3 times. It's been unfortunate, but not as bad as it seems).
-Working out housing for next Spring. (8 girls, one house, and much vegitarianism and feminism to be had by all this coming January).
-Finishing teaching the dance to the youth at church (with a few more kinks to work out).
-Starting to enter the data from the surveys onto one VERY LARGE spread-sheet.

October will be:
-A week long trip to Guatemala with 3 other HNGR interns: Sheryl who is here in Nicaragua and lives an hour from me, David who works in Honduras, and Austin who works in Guatemala and has happily organized an adventurous and eventful week of sight seeing, nature exploring, and generally being rich American tourists which we are all very much looking forward to! (Oct. 10-20).
-Lots of meetings in the office during the week I get back, including presenting one more time to the board of pastors. (Oct. 21-25)
-Preforming the dance for the church with the youth. (Oct. 27)
-3 days with an STM team from the states in a rural community in the North of the country (my pen and notebook will be busy!) (Oct. 28-30)
-Trying on my wedding dress and having final adjustments made! (whenever I can fit it in after I get back!).

Too good not to share.

2008-09-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

If you enjoy any one of the following things:
-Art
-Music
-Inspiring thoughts
-Honest self expression
-Challenging consumerism (free things)
-Joel P. West

Then you will enjoy: http://www.dustjacketproject.com/
He explains it pretty well himself, so I will leave that up to him and just tell you to visit the site. Really. I strongly reccomend it.

P.S. There is another more real post below this one.

On turning 23, white dresses, and being an "expert"

2008-09-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

I had a really nice birthday. Well besides being a good bit more homesick than normal. People were really nice. My extremely quiet and very sweet boss Henry bought a pizza that I shared with my girl friends in the gazebo (Henry quietly ate his piece at his desk, and insisted he was full when we tried to get him to take a second one). After work my host mom and brother's and our beloved Nana and I all went out to Tip Top for special birthday meal afuera. On our way back we stopped at the video store and I rented a movie for myself and let each of the boys pick one out too. So when we got to the house we watched Bee Movie (Gabriel's pick). About half way through Guadalupe came home with a cake (a pretty special treat around here) in celebration of my and Ruben's birthdays (his was the day before mine, he turned 12). Here are the pictures:

Gabriel kept posing for the pictures with us... but then getting distracted by the sweet candle. in the morning when I came out Nana came and gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me Happy Birthday. She then told Gabriel, who was doing his usual second wake-up of the morning on the big overstuffed chair, to tell me happy birthday. He looked up at me, thought for a minute, and then said, "How many days till my birthday?" Oohhh Gabriel...

Also, I found a great seamstress to make my wedding dress. After one very failed attempt and much pushing it further and further off until I was loosing hope of it happening at all... I found her, as Michael likes to put it, "all cinderella like and stuff." If I look nervous in this first picture, it's because I WAS. There were some important measurements this lady was taking! She was a very sweet sweet woman.

Lastly: things are really moving forward on my project at work. A thing which a few weeks ago seemed impossible has now come to be: the survey is finished and is now in the distribution stage. As I show it to other leaders at the Nehemiah Center they are also excited about the information it is gathering. It seems likely that this information it will contribute to the work of the Nehemiah Center even beyond the project I am directly working for. It's encouraging to have begun to contribute in a useful way.

I've also started conducting some focus group interviews with pastors. The intention of these interviews is to get at some deeper cultural characteristics which the survey alone won't bring out, because we're probably not asking enough of the right questions in certain areas. I have conducted one of these interviews in a group format so far with some of the most distinguished evanglical pastors in Managua. More than the "research" I accomplished, perhaps the most exciting thing about this was the conversation it sparked among the pastors themselves. As they responded to questions about the positive and negative characteristics of the Nicaraguan church, they started to realize the common ground they shared, and the need to address these issues in a united manner. They started to talk to each other instead of just filling me in on information. It was an unintended but wonderful result.

Along with the good, however, is still a good dose of being overwhelmed and stressed. There are elements of the project which are still quite hazy, and a very large paper looming in the distance the exact topic for which is still somewhat eluding me. I would ask prayer for wisdom and understanding as I tackle these interesting but difficult issues in academic terms, when I would really rather just live them and struggle through them as a member of the community. Also pray that I will continue to trust in the Lord's strength and provision, doing all things for his glory and not for my own.

Happenings.

2008-09-07T13:02:00.000-07:00

- My professor Dr. Howell came and visited for five days. It was nice, we had lots of long discussions on a whole myriad of topics. The main thing it changed about my internship is that I will now be doing some more in depth qualitative study on the church in Nicaragua. This month I have several appointements for focus groups and quite a bit of Spanish reading on church history and context to work through. Should be fun.

- My host dad and also pastor, asked me to choreograph a dance for youth in the church to do both for the service and as an outreach. I'm not much for choreography myself, but it's been a good opportunity to get to spend more time with some of the jovenes that I'm closest to already in the youth group, and it's good to be an involved member of my church, rather than just an observer. (youth here are older than at home - they range from mid-teens to early 20's, or until married).

- Michael and I are still able to talk frequently. Maybe too frequently sometimes... but really, it's been a such a gift to be able to stay in close contact with him and to remain an important part in each other's lives. Of course I still miss him greatly, but it is really going better than I'd ever dare anticipate.

- We've had some rainy days and "astounding coolness" - which means it's been in the mid 70's for a few days. It's been nice and feels like home.

- I'm learning from my Nicaraguan brothers and sisters about their experience with a theology which recognizes God's preferential treatment for the poor. Though "liberation" theology, in it's most classic sense, may have missed the boat (in my opinion) in some important areas, yet the Church has great things to learn from this large portion of our family. I feel honored to be learning under their tutalage.

Please pray that the Lord will continue to guide me in my time here. Pray that I will live with compassion and intentionality. I am over half way through my time here, and time is really starting to zip by! It's easy to fall into patterns, as it is anywhere, and I hope that here, and at home, I can live this life in the Compassion of Christ rather than out of selfishness as I am so prone to do.

stuff Christians like

2008-08-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

You're going to enjoy this. (Well if you are familiar with Christian culture and don't take yourself TOO seriously, you are going to enjoy this):
http://stuffchristianculturelikes.blogspot.com/

Um, I feel I should ammend this to mention that she just added a new one that is quite a bit more "risque" than the others (although there are a couple other slightly risque ones as well), so if you're offended and mad at me for the first post you see, um... sorry? Probably if you're of a highly sensitive nature this site is not for you...

Also, if you enjoy this, you may also enjoy: http://www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/ which is the origional source of the idea, and also very very funny.

Back to blogger.

2008-08-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

So sometimes the internet networks here randomly decide that I can't access blogs anymore. I don't know why. Usually either the network at work or the network at home takes a turn. But for the last couple weeks they decided to both block me at the same time, so that's why no blog posts or comments. I apologize on behalf of Nicaraguan internet providers.

But tonight my network suddenly let me back, to my surprise and joy, so here I am.
Is it really August 19th already? This month is zipping. Here are some basics:

-I have been working for the past month on developing a survey to distribute to churches in Nicaragua. It is currently 60 questions long and has been pre-tested on a group of 10 pastors. Periodically I get overwhelmed or just mad about the project, but for the most part I'm learning how to fake my way through things I don't actually know how to do with surprising success!

-My host sister Wendy leaves tomorrow to begin University at Dort College in Iowa (very small Christian school). Actually, she left today, but then her flight was cancled and she got to return home for one more night, much to all of our delight. Kids usually don't leave home in Nicaragua until they're married, much less move to other countries at 18, so this transition has been a pretty big deal. Pretty much the whole past week has been spent with visits, parties, and outings relating to her leaving. I am sad to see her go, but very excited for her!

-Have I mentioned on here yet that I'm getting my wedding dress made here? I picked out fabric and talked to the seamstress. Looks like my wedding dress and viel, all together, are going to cost me a grand total of about $80. Not too shabby eh?

-My professor is coming to visit at the end of this month. I'm really looking forward to it. It will be great to see a familiar face from the mother-land, and he will be very helpful in figuring out outstanding questions about my job etc.

I think those are the big news items that come to mind.
Personally: I've been doing pretty well. Actually, I had a low three or so weeks there, but have been picking back up emotionally for the past week. Something about "culture shock" or something like that. The Lord has been so faithful in answering prayers. He leaves me no choice but to trust in his infinate goodness and care. This is a broken world we live in, but the Lord is working, and his plans never fail.

Thank You!

2008-08-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

On a more serious note from the below post, I wanted to say a very special thank you to all of you who prayed in response to my requests. It was really incredible how I so clearly saw the Lord answer those prayers the very next day. My head cleared and I was able to speak clearly with my overseer and actually move forward on the project I'm doing for work. He has also been very near to me as well as surrounding me with support from people both near and far. Praise the Lord who is able to do so much infantely more than we could ever ask or imagine!
With love,
Pamela

Meet the Bridesmaids!

2008-08-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

I just wrote this all up so that they could meet each other. But I thought, heck, why not make it public and let the whole world meet them. So withour further adue, meet the female cast of the Schnake-Kolbas wedding (coming June 13 to a Forest Reserve near you. Or... maybe not so near you... depending on where you live...).

Julia Larsen
My sister Julia is of course my Maid of Honor (er... "Matron of Honor" technically, I prefer Maid though. I'm still gonna make her work ;-). Though most of you have either never met her or not seen her for a few years, she’s still my dearest friend. She’s only a little over 2 years older than me. We grew up doing everything together. Even in high school she always let me hang out with her, and even drove me to ballet classes when mom and dad said they wouldn’t let me add a fourth class. Everyone calls her one of the nicest people they know, but she’s really smart too, and also quite funny (she is a Schnake after-all). Right now Julia, her husbad Viggo, and their 17 month old son Daniel, are in Tanzania Africa starting a bible translation project from scratch for the Mbugwe people. Julia enjoys reading, being in raptures over nature's beauty, and playing with her son Daniel.

Jennifer Bulthuis

Jenny (or Jennifer as I think she prefers these days) has been my best friend since high school. I’m her Anne of Green Gables and she’s my Blonde Diana. We’ve really been there for each other through thick and thin and we’ll always be close because of that. She got married last summer to a hansom young man named Bjorn, and they now live just across the border from Vancouver CA on the U.S. side. She has worked the last year as a bilingual education specialist (well ok, technically only as a teachers aide, but really that’s what she does) for Lynden (?) school district.

Rebecca Chase
Rebecca and I met at bible school in England and continued on together in Austria in ’04-’05. She is truly a kindred spirit. Our hearts seem to track together in a special way. She is one of the kindest and funniest people I know. I’ve always felt it is a special honor to call her a dear friend. She and Chaz met at bible school and have been married for over two years now. She is from VA Beach, VA, but this spring they moved out to L.A. to live with Chaz’s sister and brother-in-law. She has worked for the last couple of years as a case manager for women’s shelters. She’s really crafty and spends a lot of time sewing and making cards and other crafts which she sells.

Michelle Kolbas

Michelle is Michael’s sister, my soon to be sister-in-law. She has been so warm and welcoming in the past year, really letting me know I am welcomed as part of the family. The funny thing is that I’m actually closer in age to Michelle (just 11 months younger) than I am to Michael. She is also currently planning her wedding with her long time love Ryan and will be getting married in September. Michelle loves sunflowers and Disney princesses. I think she really is something of a Disney princess. Right now she’s finishing up her last year of school to become an elementary school teacher. Her fiancé Ryan is a hard-core fire fighter. Together they are going to single-handedly ensure that California’s youth are safe and well educated.

Hannah Dorr

Shoot, we really need a better picture together Hannah. But anyway, Hannah and I have been friends since middle school. I first remember her driving home from youth group when I was in 7th grade, she in 6th and I had a major crush on her brother David, and thus made a joke at her expense (which he thought was funny so it was totally worth it). She didn’t like me at that time, but I didn’t know it. We became friends my 8th grade year, I think, and our friendship has steadily grown ever since, up to now when I would call her one of my closest friends. The thing I love about Hannah is that we have fun together. We like to go for bike rides, pick berries, build forts, and walk to DQ. Hannah is the only unmarried/engaged and the only dark haired member of the bridal party. She is currently studying Sociology at George Fox University in Newberg OR and has a cute boyfriend who I haven’t met yet named Mitchell.

Prayer Requests.

2008-07-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

I have had a hard time being very open on my blog lately, because I just don't know who reads it anymore. But since a lot of you are my dear friends and this is the way I told you I'd communicate over HNGR, I think I should use this space for a few honest prayer requests.

True things are much different than they were those terrible first two weeks here. I've gained comfort and am finding a place, and I praise the Lord for that. However, things haven't been always easy either. These are some difficult things I need prayer for right now:

Please pray that I will find a friend who will be open with me about her pains and joys and who will invite me to be open with her about mine. I'm slowly growing more comfortable with people, though I still have a ways to go on even that, but I am starting to long for something more than just not feeling awkward. I long for someone to notice when I'm hurting and to reach out to me, but despite my best efforts I haven't found this person yet.

Please pray that I will resolve difficulties in my job, be able to communicate with my boss despite very different communication styles, and that I will understand the work they want me to do. It's hard to explain, but there are some big cultural differences that can make aspects of my work really frustrating. They have a tendency to throw a lot of information at me without any background, and to explain things circularly not linearly, which leaves me confused and often frustrated. This has been hard in the past, but now it is a matter of throwing around fluid concepts which I am supposed to understand concretely enough to write an effective survey, and expecting me to start doing things when I'm still trying to figure out what they want me to do. I feel trapped by not being able to understand and by not being able to get things explained well. To be honest I'm dreading going to work tomorrow.

Pray that in lonliness I will continue to seek the Lord and find rest in him. I want to live these moments, not just push through them. Pray for a patience that is rooted in hope that will allow me to do this. All too often I feel like I'm still just checking off the days and weeks until I'm done.

Thank you.
With love,
Pamela

Apawas

2008-07-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know I've been terrible about posting. Sorry about that. You know how there is either nothing interesting to post or your doing things that are too interesting to have time post? Anyway - here is something interesting that I did.

I went on a trip to a remote part of Nicaragua with a group of youth from my church here and also a small short-term group from a Korean-American church in Atlanta, Georgia. It was a grueling trip - 14 hours there and 17 hours back. The town, Apawas, was only accessable by a 3 hour canoe ride (with a motor). I almost died a couple of times, particularly on the aforementioned canoe ride, but what else is new? (I mean really, enough about me, what's new with your guys?). The good part was I got some great field data for my study on short-term missions.

Here are some pictures.

This is the town of Apawas. It has sprung up in just the past nine years to provide merchandise for the farmers who are taming the "agricultural frontier of Nicaragua." Land is extremely cheap in this area. Most of these shops are owned by people who go to Managua once a month or more to buy wares and return to sell them here. People walk into town from hours away to buy necesities. Because no roads lead to Apawas, there are no cars here. Only horses.

This is my host sister Wendy. I was blessed to get to know her better on this trip. Wendy loves children. I know a lot of girls say, "Oh! I LOVE children!" but really if you leave them with a group of kids for more than 15 minutes they get tired and annoyed (I am one of those girls. Except I have reformed my word choice to "like" in recent years). But Wendy really does love Children. I see the Lord shine through her when she is with them. She is going to Iowa next month to study Special Education at Dort College. I will miss her dearly.

This picture was taken at the exact moment that this cute little parrot pooped on my leg. There is nothing posed about that face...

These are the beautiful women of Apawas. Shop owners, mothers, some victims of domestic abuse. Alcoholism is very prevalent among men in Apawas. We held a little gathering for these women where we served them refreshments, played ice-breaker games, Joy (Korean girl on the left) shared her testimony, and I gave them massages while they shared prayer requests. When asked what they like to do in their free time most women resonded "cooking and house work." When asked what their favorite food was the most common response was either "chicken" or "rice and beans." We prayed together Nicaraguan style, all of us holding hands and raising our voices together to call on the Lord to meet our needs. I was very blessed by this time.

This is the well in Apawas. During winter people mostly collect rain water, but in the summer they have to rely on this highly contaminated water source. It runs low so people crawl into it and dredge it with buckets. There are holes in the sides so river water sloshes in bringing along not just mud, but also soap from washing laundry, and other even less pleasant things. In the short time we were there David, the pastor of the Atlanta church, and Sarah, his Nicaraguan wife who is studying development, managed to form a plan to build a new well which will be directed by the local church, contributed to by the town council, and funded by their church in Atlanta. Pastor David told us that just as James said we cannot just tell a brother he is loved but leave him hungry, and thirst, is an even more basic need than hunger. However he was also careful to ensure that this project will be known as primarily coming from the local Baptist church in Apawas and will be supported by their effort and initiative. It was really refreshing to see people doing things with a good heart AND a well thought out, culturally sensitive approach.

Just life.

2008-07-12T15:39:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks have been pretty relaxed. I've done that travelling I mentioned, but little else besides. I haven't been in the office much because it was vacation this week and there was some miscommunication last week. I didn't do much when I did travell either, but it was good to see new things and sit in on some workshops. Except the one day when we travelled 6 hours to Omitepe, only to discover no one knew we were coming, and so we turned around and went straight back. 11 hours of travelling for no reason. But... could be worse.

Besides that I've been mostly hanging out at home - going for walks, watching movies with Wendy, helping out Nana (a little bit), and playing Mario Cart with Ruben and Gabrielito. It has been slow paced, and I'll look forward to getting back to work next week, but the Lord has been teaching me new things, and in general life's been pretty good. Here are some pictures.

This is from Omitepe, when I was there for 5 minutes.

This is the Island of Omitepe from the ferry we took to get there.
This is me living the hard life with Wendy (right) and our neighbor Cathy.
And these are my host brothers: Gabrielito (who's 4), and Ruben (who's 11). They're pretty cute.

Places and Pictures

2008-06-30T14:39:00.000-07:00

Well, my last week of work was spent sitting in the office either in meetings, workshops, or creating a giant spreadsheet that was driving me crazy. However the tides have turned and I am now apparently some what of a travelling fiend!

On Saturday I went to Granada. It is probably the most touristy town in Nicaragua, which is because it's beautiful, and historic. It one of the two origional captials of Nicaragua during the Colonial era (Leon was the other). Here are some pictures:

This is Sheryl - a friend of mine from Wheaton college who is doing the HNGR program in another city in Nicaragua - and I at the top of a Cathedral which overlooks the city.
Granada is full of brightly painted houses and beautiful foliage.

In this picture is Pamela, Sheryl and Pamela. Pamela is my co-worker at the Nehemiah Center. Therefore every time I am introduced to someone new the response is almost invariably, "oh! otra Pamela!"

This is the church which we climbed to the top of. It is a physical display of the war and violence which have shaken this country time and time again since its very conception.

I am also heading off on several more trips in the next week and a half. Here is a map to help you visualize:

I live in Managua - #10
Last weekend I went to Granada - #6
On Wed. I am going on an overnight trip with work to that Island inside the really big Lake. It's called Omitepe.
On Sunday I'm going with work to Leon - #8
From Tuesday - Wed. of next week I'll be in Chinandega - #3
In a little over 2 weeks I'm going on a STM trip with my church to Juembes, which I think is somewhere in #17.

Even if iam mostly just tagging along while other people do actual work - here's to getting to know the country of Nicaragua!

Stories of Santa Maria

2008-06-23T21:02:00.000-07:00

As a group, this year's HNGR interns have commited together, among other things, to "listen to the unheard voices and know them by name." (To see the rest of our 2008 HNGR covenant, click on the link to Michael's blog on the left). This past Thursday I had the opportunity to hear the voices that lay behind statistics and buzz words with which we so quickly become numb to. I leave them here for you. It is a long account, taken from my field journal, which I keep as a part of my anthropological study while in Nicaragua.

First, for those who don't have 15 minutes to spend reading, I will include some pictures.

Thursday, June 19

....Our next stop was the community of Santa Maria, about a half hour drive from León. This community started as a refugee camp nine years ago for victims of an extremely large mudslide from the Casita Volcano which completely wiped out three villages and greatly affected three others. Residents of Santa Maria all lost family members, usually several family members, in the mudslide. During the relief efforts in the two or three years following the disaster the government of Luxemburg organized a large scale project to 350 cement brick homes for these residents. Therefore, upon first entering the community you would never know the degree of poverty and difficulty that these people face on a daily basis. Although they have homes, they have lost not only family members, but also their agricultural land, their source of income and their known way of life. They have had to switch from their rural largely subsistence lifestyle, to now living in a “suburban” setting with no work opportunities. Because no income generating opportunities were created during the relief efforts, almost all of the able bodied men in the community have left. Some of these men send money back to their families, others “become irresponsible” and do not send anything. Among the men who have stayed in the community there are high instances of incest and domestic abuse.
Ken told me that the work here has been difficult. The people in this community largely lack initiative to proactively change their situation. Many have grown accustomed to waiting for handouts after the relief efforts. Those who do have drive and initiative leave the community for education and vocational opportunities, and thus there is a great vacuum of leadership from within the community. Obviously there are many factors at play contributing to this: results of short term relief efforts, depression from tragedy, pre-existing conditions of poverty, lack of emotional, physical, and Spiritual resources – the list goes on.
Further contributing to the difficulty of recovery from this tragic event is actually rooted in the Pentecostal tradition this community is part of. This particular community was not Catholic, as most of the country is, but were 90% Protestant-Pentecostal. The Pentecostal church in Nicaragua is known for strict legalism – regulation of women’s dress, strong separation of male/female roles, etc. One particular aspect of this tradition is a strong taboo against grieving. It is believed that sadness is equal to a lack of faith. Thus people were expected to hold celebration ceremonies for the loved ones lost in the tragedy, rather than mourn their loss. Ken has been working these nine years in the community to facilitate a healthy grieving process and to train leaders who can help with counseling needs. There are also large problems within family dynamics which have arisen out of this situation which I will discuss in greater depth during a following case study.

Family 1
The first family I spent time with was the home of Juan-Carlos (pseudo names are sometimes used). Juan-Carlos is a cheerful man of 38 years. His leg was injured in a work-related accident four years ago, and he is now confined to the home with his leg elevated, or walking with crutches. His two room cement block house is home to his wife, three kids, and his wife’s sister and her two children. When I first entered this home he was sitting and watching television. The furnishings of the home were sparse including four plastic patio chairs, one functioning rocking chair, and one broken rocking chair, and a small table which he used to support his leg. The electronic appliances in the house included a television, a DVD player, a cell phone, an iron. Cooking was done over a gas stove in the corner. These devices had the effect of fooling me, upon initial observations, into assuming this was not a greatly impoverished family. However, after Juan-Carlos accident he lost his ability to provide for his family with regular work. The family’s main source of income is from his wife who cleans peanuts at a near-by plantation for a total pay of $2 a day. This family of eight people is supported on $2 a day, as well as occasional side jobs in welding and embroidery that Juan-Carlos can do from home. I have often heard the statistic that over 50% (sometimes I have heard as much as 70 or 80%) of Nicaraguans live on less than $2 a day. These are the faces of that statistic.

Family 2
Irania, Kim and Ken told me, is a strong Christian woman and one of their best resources of leadership in the community. She lives with her four children and her sister (or maybe cousin) and her two children. They lost a brother in the mudslide, as well as their land. Her husband is was described to me as a controlling and “strange” man. He spends most of his time up on the Volcano, I believe with their land. At times he would force the daughters to come and stay with him for multiple days on the volcano. Domestic abuse and incest are a strong possibility in this family.
This particular day was among the more painful of Irania’s life. Her fifteen year old daughter, Maria, had run away from home with a twenty year old boy tweleve days prior. Kim told me that Maria had always been the good daughter of the family – while the older daughter who had sustained damage to her eye and face in the mudslide had been more of the worry. However, this boy, who was described to me as a low brown pot smoker type, and started “working on” Maria when she was just 13 years old. In these parts “marriage” is still practiced in the form of bride stealing – in which the man (usually with previous permission from the parents) steals away the girl in the middle of the night, and from then on they are considered married, although an actual marriage ceremony rarely takes place. This happens when the girls are between 13 and 20 years old. In this particular case the young man had asked the parents for their daughter, and they refused him. The daughter ran away with him anyway, causing extreme pain to her mother.
On this day Maria had returned to the home to ask her mother’s forgiveness, possibly to return to stay. Kim and Ken spent over an hour counseling and listening to Irania, before she saw her daughter. Irania wept as she told them about the situation. She wasn’t sure she was up to facing her daughter face to face after the pain she had caused. Kim and Ken listen and talked and prayed with her, at the home of a neighbor. The neighbor and her older daughter also aided in the reconciliation. Kim told the story of the prodigal son, highlighting the different characters and their roles. I stood by at a distance, a spectator to this woman’s grief.
After over an hour of counseling, she was convinced to return to her house and face her daughter. We walked with her along the road as she cried all the way to her house, Kim singing a Spanish worship song softly and holding her arm. When we arrived at the house, Irania took a seat and Maria walked toward her. For several minutes Irania could not look her in the face, but could only continue to cry into her handkerchief. Maria stood by, looking unsure what her next step should be. The older daughter sat with her mom and spoke into her ear. After about fifteen minutes, Kim moved a chair closer to Irania for Maria to come and sit in. Kim and Ken were both very conscious about not wanting to force this to happen, or else it would not be genuine. They took turns sitting with her and mostly only spoke if it was to affirm something that someone else said – such as one of the daughters. Maria asked her mother’s forgiveness. Irania could still not respond to this for several minutes. Her other daughter urged her mother to forgive Maria. Kim stepped out to let Ken take over the mediation, because this is where he works on a regular basis, and not him. By the time we left they had begun to talk, but when we went to check on Irania again later in the afternoon, the pain still filled her face.

Family 3
Ronald and Darling Gomez are a couple in their late thirties. Kim and Ken told me that they were the most motivated and proactive people in the community. They are strong leaders and dedicated believers Therefore, when they left to find jobs in Costa Rica, it was a major blow to the work Ken has been doing. Today they were back home for a brief visit. We talked with Darling about their life in Costa Rica. She happily reported that they have their own apartment there, and have started a store which sells a variety of goods, with her mother-in-law. Darling tried to convince Kim to come to the hotel she works at as a maid for a visit. Darling told us that she wakes up at 4am every morning to take a bus to get to work. She does not return home until 9pm. Her face glowed as she told us about their improved life and the new opportunities they have in Costa Rica. She hopes that some day, when they have raised enough money, they will be able to return to Santa Maria and continue their business their. Kim hopes that will be the case, though it does not seem very likely.

"Home"

2008-06-21T09:46:00.001-07:00

This is my house. It is the place I will call home for the next six months.

I live on the outskirts of town. Managua is a very spead out city to begin with, it doesn't have much of an urban feel to it at all - people describe it as more of a sprawling village (though it is home to 1.6 million people). The outskirts are even more like this. The road I live on and all the roads around it are dirt roads. My street has houses of varying size and wealth. There are two which are two story and surrounded by tall iron gates. There are three or four that are small two or three room shacks. There are also a couple of make shift accomodations, put together with various pieces of plastic, wood, cardboard, and metal. Ours is among the nicer, but not nice enough to need a gate. My host parents both come from extremely poor backgrounds. They worked their way through school, and each have jobs (my host dad has 3) besides being full time pastors. Sunday is their "free day" - which means that between Sunday morning Sunday school, and the 6:00 church service (followed by visiting with families in the community) they have a four hour span of time to rest.
My host family is really wonderful. They have a lot to teach me, and I feel priveledged to be learning from them.

Hospital Stay

2008-06-14T17:46:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,
I am back home after spending 48 hours in the hospital. It really wasn't as serious as that sounds, but we just haven't been able to get this sickness under control so they wanted to keep an IV with fluids and antibiotics going into me for a couple of days. I am no longer having symptoms, but now I am really weak; 8 days worth of basically no nutrients in my body is really catching up with me. I can only eat a little bit at a time, but I think I will try to start eating something small every hour or two so that I can build my stomach back up to being able to handle food again. I will continue taking antibiotics and Imodium for the next few days. The doctor really things it's just normal traveller's diarrhea, just a more severe case. Hopefully I will regain strength quickly and be able to actually start my internship soon!
Thanks for the prayers and concern, I think it has made a huge difference.
with Love,
Pamela

Dificultades

2008-06-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

Well I've got to be honest, I've been having kind of a rough time. The transition has been harder than I expected. My family is great, but very busy (no they're not American, but the kids do go to the Christian American school). My work is cool, but everyone kind of has their own thing going. It's been difficult to find my place (plus I've only been two days so far).
Because.... du du de duuuuhhh: I got sick. On Friday all the way until today. I'm on the upside of it for sure, but it's been a rough go around. On Saturday I was the worst by far: the only two places I was all day were my bed or the bathroom. Diarreah, fever, body aches, the whole ball of wax.
Yesterday I was feeling quite a bit better than before, but you know when you've been really sick and then you don't feel quite so bad so then you think you're all better? Yeah, so I tried going to church in the evening, and discovered I was still pretty bad off. No more digestional difficulties at this point, but I'm still very weak and have no appetite, and now for some reason I have developed this really severe head ache that just doesn't want to go away.
But, the Lord has been very present with me and has showed his love to me in many ways. I think the good thing is that it really made me feel more at home with the family. And it gave them a chance to really show me that I am welcome, even if they are really busy. They really are a great family.
So I didn't make it to work this morning, and that's kind of a bummer, all I've done so far is orientation stuff and I'm excited to find out what it actually is that they want me to do... but all in good time I guess. All in good time.

Ya estoy en Nicaragua!

2008-06-05T16:44:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official. I'm here. I got in on Tuesday night. The last couple days have been filled with lots of learning, lots of rain, and lots of sweating. Overall things, are going well. Here are a few things:
-The organization I'm working for is really cool. It's a little difficult to totally figure out, other people who work there say they haven't quite got it figured out yet even, because there are so many different organizations working together "como un comunidad" (like a community) on many different projects.
-It's far more lush and beautiful than I was expecting. Nicaragua is called "el pais de lagos y volcanos" and it really is the country of lakes and volcanoes. The city itself is very spread out with no real downtown area because it was never rebuilt after the earthquake in 1979. I live on the outskirts and there are so many different trees and flowers. When it rains it drums up all of these wonderful tropical smells from all of the various plants.
-I flew in during a big thunderstorm, which made the plane very jolty and scary. Then last night there was a massive thunderstorm and we lost power. I believe during the rainy season there are at least one or two thunderstorms everyday. They start with distant thunder for about 45 minutes, then slowly big drops begin to fall here and there, and then all at once it starts pouring. Last night was actually kind of scary, but we made it through! We didn't have internet at work today because the internet tower on the premesis was struck by lightning!
-Today to get into work I walked up the main road. People kept honking and I kept thinking it was because it was someone I knew from work... but really it was just because I'm a gringa. I got to the side road - which can barely even be considered a road it's so bumpy and uneven - that takes me to work and waited for a moto-taxi to take me the rest of the way. It took a while to come so when it did come I ended up sharing it with two other men, sitting sandwiched between the two. But everyone was nice. Besides honking and staring, I don't think the machismo will be too big of a problem.
-My host dad is a pastor, a lawyer, and the dean of the Bapstist semanary. This is a common story for many pastors in Latin America. Resources are limited so they wear many hats.
-I have a host sister who speaks perfect English. I get to attend her graduation tomorrow, which I'm excited about. It will be fun to see real a real bonified Nicaraguan party - although she attends the American Christian school, so it will really be more of a cultural blend. Interesting and fun none-the-less. The way I hear it, Nicaraguans really know how to throw a party.
-My family has a maid and wireless internet. But I also take showers with a bucket and sleep on a matress with springs sticking up all over the place... nothing is really predicatble when you're on HNGR!

I could go on and on, but that is probably enough for now. As one final word of assurance to anyone worried about my safety, I have been told by several different people multiple times that Managua is considered the safest city in Central America if not in all of Latin America. So no te preoccupes!
The one thing I feel I could use the most prayer for is confidence. It is a lot of new people to meet and information to take in, and I find myself being pretty timid and unsure of myself at work. I know I will grow more and more comfortable as time passes, but I also have hope that the Lord can help me to be confident so that I can make the adjustment well.
Thanks for being interested in my weird little life! I'll try to post pictures soon.

And off she goes...

2008-06-02T17:31:00.000-07:00

I'm heading off to Nicaragua, where I will stay for the next 6 months. I'll do most of my updating on here. I think I've already explained what I'll be doing there on this blog, but if not, post a comment and I'll let you know.
Also, if you're anything of a Michael Kolbas fan, as I know I am, he will be updating about his time in Peru on his new blog www.pazenperu.blogspot.com. He has alreayd arrived in the city where he'll be staying and everything had gone great so far.
love to all!

One more week.

2008-05-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

This is my last week here. Just finishing up some finals and checking out the girls on my floor and I'm out of here. Michael and I will road trip back to Oregon from May 13-16. By the way, if anyone happens to know anyone or anywhere we could stay between Illinois and Oregon we're very open to suggestions! Otherwise I suppose it will have to be any youth hostiles we can find.

Enjoy Spring. It's such a wonderful reminder that life is all around us, even in the winter when you can't tell.

The rumors are true.

2008-04-20T19:53:00.001-07:00

We're engaged!!

I know. I can't believe it either.
Ok, so I know you all want "the story" so here it is:

Friday morning 8:30am I am awakened by something hitting my window screen. I try to ignore it until I hear a soft "Pamela.." I roll over to see Michael smiling at me through the window. "Oh! what are you doing here so early?" I mumble? "I brough you your shampoo" he says (I had just ran out and he had taken my bottle the night before so he could fill it with some of his).
I thought that was sweet of him, so I went around to the door to get it from him, still feeling a little confused as to why he was up and dressed at that hour.
When I went to the hall door (boys can't come into my dorm hallway during normal daytime hours) and there was Michael, with a giant boquet of flowers. "Do you want to go to breakfast?" he asked.
Well I thought that was awfully sweet of him. I noticed his heart was beating when I hugged him "Could this be...?" I thought, but I tried not to jump to any conclusions. So I rushed back to get some real clothes on and brush my teeth, all the while trying not to get my hopes up or assume anything.
We got in the car, but when we didn't head toward our normal breakfast place I was a little curious. "Are we going to Denny's?" I asked... trying to think of any breakfast place near our driving direction. "Um... maybe..." Michael replys. A minute later, we turn off the main road we were on and Michael admits to me, "Ok, so we're not going to breakfast right now." And then I knew. This was really happening.
We drove to Northside Park in veritable silence, both unable to think of anything to say. When we got to the park, Michael asked if I wanted to go for a walk, and I suggested we walk to the bridge that went over the pond a few yards away. He agreed and we both started walking rather briskly in that direction, clutching hands and still unable to think of any topic of conversation. That is until Michael said... "Wow, there sure is a lot of goose poop." Which I agreed with and proceeded to tell of a duck that I heard outside my window. He suggested perhaps it was a goose, but I contended it was in fact a duck. And then... having pulled all we could out of that topic, we walked the remaining distance to the bridge in silence.
When we got to the bridge Michael turned to face me. He told me that he knew this was a place where we had many memories, but they were only good memories here. And so, he told me, this was where he wanted to do it.
And then Michael got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said yes. And we both started hugging and laughing. We tried to kiss, but our mouths were too dry, so we just hugged and laughed some more... and the rest... well I suppose it's mostly still ahead of us.

This was my Grandma Schnake's ring. I've known it was some day to be mine since I was little, but in the past few years decided I wanted it to be used when I got engaged. I really don't think I could have found a ring that I liked more if I tried.

Thanks for everyone's support and love! The Lord is so very good to me. I'm really just overwhelmed. I love you all and... sorry if you found out about this from my blog. I tried as hard as I could to tell everyone I could before putting it online... but the clamor for the story finally one out.

Michael W Smith

2008-04-08T07:39:00.001-07:00

Three times a week I attend chapel. I usually enjoy it, but I have to admit, I go largely because it's required. But yesterday, although still required, it was far from a chore. Michael W. Smith, husband of Wheaton alum (and HNGR alum) Debbie Smith, preformed for us, and encouraged us with the words only a dorky middle aged dad could impart. It was sweet, nostalgic, and downright enjoyable.

P.S. we confirmed that I'm going to Nicaragua yesterday. And the more I learn about this internship, the more exciting it sounds.

Nicaragua.

2008-04-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

I am 98.5% sure I will be spending June through November in Managua, Nicaragua with an organization called Nehemiah Center. They've asked me to do reserach on churches in the area and surrounding communities to help them implement a new program concerning church health and to help them minister more holistically to these local churches. I'm still vague on some of the details myself, but am definietly excited about the opportunity. I will provide more information as I receive it.
Thanks!

Waiting.

2008-03-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

For all those curious and concerned friends out there: I still haven't found out where I am going for the six month internship I am going on this summer and next fall. We're still looking at two places in Central America, but communication is slow to say the least. If it is something you've been keeping track of, I will certainly inform everyone as quickly as possible as soon as I know, and please keep me and the placement in your prayers in the mean time. It's getting pretty frustrating at this point. I am possibly the very last unplaced person of our group of 29 outgoing interns at this point... and it would really be nice to know where I'll be spending those quickly approaching six months. The Lord knows, it will be fine... it would just be nice to know.
Thanks to all who've been asking!

Spring Break '08!

2008-03-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

We just returned from a delightful week at Michael's house in Southern California. Here are some highlights and pictures:

-Because of a rainy winter and the scattering of wildflower seeds as a cover crop after the fires, Temecula has never been prettier. Everything was green except for the vast expanses on the hills that were covered by orange, yellow, and purple wild flowers.
-Played miniature golf, rode a tandem bike to a large botanical garden, and ate ice cream on Catalina Island.
-Spent a whole day and a night with Rebecca and Chaz!!
-Loads of delicious meals out and in with Michael's family.
-Swimming in the outdoor pool.
-Morning bike ride.
-Hiking along the plateau to the verdant pools.
-The ocean.
-Picnic in Balboa Park.
-Sunshine! mid to high 70's almost every day. (but we never got a bad sunburn).
-More love, less stress.

My nearest and dearest.

Lookout Michael!

Luke at Balboa park.

This is apparently my "looking through a piece of modern art" face
Aww

Confessions.

2008-02-28T20:08:00.000-08:00

I'm in a student produced dance production this weekend called Confessions. I thought it would be fun. It hasn't been really. It's been stressfull and exposing of my weaknesses. But in the end I think I will be better for the experience. I think it's probably a fitting experience for the lenten season.
On the brighter side, I'm going to California in 8 days. We get to go to Catalina for a weekend. Catalina! I can't wait.

Happy Birthday Daniel!

2008-02-26T13:21:00.000-08:00

Daniel is 1 year old today!

One year ago.

5 months ago.

Today: I have no picture. But I do have a nice little paragraph from an e-mail I got from my sister a couple days ago. She writes:

"Daniel is super cute too. He waves to people and claps his hands now, and he’ll often do a little bouncy dance if he hears music. No walking yet, though, and I’m still not sure if it counts as a word when he says mama, since he says “mamama” at random times just as often. He doesn’t like grass much because it tickles. If we put him down on grass he doesn’t complain but he tries to hold as much of his body as possible up off of it. Like today, he was holding onto Viggo with both hands and standing on one tiptoe. It’s very funny. If he has nothing to hold onto he’ll do only one hand and one set of toes on the ground if he can manage it."

(I especially like the part about the grass).

Happy Birthday Daniel Jacob Larsen!

One very happy Year.

2008-02-24T20:30:00.000-08:00

Although our anniversary is technically tomorrow, we celebrated our very first annivesary ever tonight. Michael took me to a privately owned fondue resturant. It has been called the most romanitc restuarant in the city, and I would believe it. We enjoyed three courses of fondue: cheese, chicken, and chocolate, in a little candle-lit booth. It was quiet and there was a live guitarist playing in the background. The food was delicious, it was Michael's first time having meat fondue, and it was very fun to cook our meat and our vegitables. Besides that cheese and chocolate are our two favorite things in the world. But I'm giving too many details. After the most romantic and perfect dinner I've ever had in my life, we came back to Wheaton (there was no traffic either direction) and I changed into warmer clothes so that we could go ice-skating on the nearby frozen pond. I have always wanted to do this. And although the ice wasn't in the best condition, and Michael's ears were very cold, it was still dream-like.
But what is making me more happy right now than all of these perfect elements of a perfect date, is coming to the end of of the best year of my life, thus far, the year I fell in love with Michael Kolbas.

At last!

2008-02-19T21:31:00.000-08:00

I have always wondered just exactly how this whole second or third, once or twice removed thing worked. My cousins and I have argued over it at probably every family reunion for the past 12 or more years. I've heard different things from different people. FINALLY, while going through a far-too-detailed-to-be-interesting tutorial on kinship for an anthro class, I came across the following diagram and my questions have finally been answered. Therefore I am sharing it with you all in the event that you too may have disagreeing through firmly asserted pieces of knowledge on this topic.

Oh, and in case you haven't seen a kinship diagram before circles are women and triangles are men. = obviously is marraige, yadda yadda yadda, and you have to start with the black triangle, ego, and apply all the terms to him.

(On a side note, I think kinship diagrams need some serious feminist critique. Why must ego always be a he? Outrageous I say! Simply outrageous!).

A rough week.

2008-02-01T11:09:00.000-08:00

It's been a rough week. It's almost strange to love somebody so much that I really do hurt deeply when he hurts deeply. Michael's dad and aunt are separately going through possibly the hardest times of their lives. It's been really hard for him. Please keep him in your prayers and his dad especially as well. It feels strange to post something personal on here because I don't have any idea who reads it anymore. But I think we could use all the support we can muster.

We sang "Give Me Jesus" in chapel this morning and both agreed that it was just what our hearts were longing to sing.

New. Classes.

2008-01-14T16:38:00.001-08:00

Sometimes the new just scares me. I know it's not very hip to admit it, but it's true. Even when it's a very familiar new, such as my 12th new term of college (just 2 more to go after this one! and yes, that includes some years with trimesters). Still, the unknown factors loom ahead, never failing to bring a good share of anxiety along with them.
That said, when the rational side of my brain is functioning properly, I'm really looking forward to this new semester. I'm taking:
-Anthropology of Global Christianity - potentially the coolest class I've ever taken. My favorite professor basically chose his favorite students (or at least oldest) to be in a class on his favorite subject matter, which I also happen to be extremely interested in as well. It's going to be good.
-Christian Thought - the Gen Ed. historical/systematic theology class. My professor seems great, and we're reading a Latin American theologian to boot!
-HNGR Field Research Methods - with all of the outgoing interns on that big internship I have coming up. We're all friends with each other so that should be fun.
-Bi-Culturalism - not the best, but at least it's Anthro and I have friends in it.
-Craft of Anthropology - also not the best but at least it's Anthro and Michael's in it.

P.S. I'm not taking 5 classes at once, 2 of them are half a semester long so it's only 4 at a time.
P.P.S. I'm planning to go to California with Michael for Spring Break, which was already exciting enough, but I just found out today that my beloved Beckers and Chaz are going to be moving there the week before we come so I'll get to see them too!!

The visit.

2008-01-04T09:56:00.001-08:00

Usually after a visit to or from my beloved boy I have a post full of exciting pictures documenting all the adventure and excitement the week contained. Michael was here this past week... but I have no pictures, and not just because my camera ran out of batteries.
Michael arrived on Thursday early in the morning, which was nice for me because I got to see him all day long on Thursday, but not so great for him becuase he had to wake up at 3:30am. We both agreed it would be a quiet day and he'd be more up to his usual par the next day after a good night's sleep. This was fine because we had pleanty of plans for adventures in the coming week including staying the night with my family in a cabin in the mountains and snowboarding a couple days, and travelling to either Portland or Seattle for New Years Eve to celebrate the end of 2007 with a bang.
Friday was nice, we went for a run in the pretty Oregon country and were feeling great. Friday night was my Grandma's 87th birthday party at Michael's Landing. Just before we left Michael started feeling a little under the weather, and with a little convincing finally decided he'd better stay back. By the time I returned 2 hours later he was laying in bed completely sick with a full fledged stomach flu. I spent the next day or two rarely leaving his side and trying to keep him hydrated while his body tried it's hardest too do the opposite. After 48 hours he started feeling better.
After 3 days of being stuck in the house we were ready to get out. We'd missed the snowboarding trip, which was quite sad, but we were ready to shake it off and head up to Portland for swing-dancing and more than one meeting of old and dear friends.
1:00am New Years Eve morning, it hit me. From 1am-8am I threw up about a dozen times. Michael then got his chance to take care of me - feeding me crackers dipped in chicken broth and reading Laura Ingles Wilder outloud.
Needless to say there wasn't a lot of adventure or excitement the week of Michael's visit. But we did learn some very important lessons about loving each other, and in the end, that's the most important thing... right?

I'm done!

2007-12-19T14:48:00.000-08:00

I'll be home Friday night.

Season's Greetings.

2007-12-08T22:43:00.000-08:00

With love from Pamela and Michael

I've always wanted to be a folk-star's girlfriend.

2007-12-03T08:12:00.000-08:00

Now my dreams have come true.

Nephers.

2007-11-29T07:04:00.000-08:00

Yes! I LOVE bread! Bread is awesome!!

Oh sorry, I forgot I was Norwegian for a minute and showed a little too much excitement... I take it back.

2007-11-16T21:56:00.000-08:00

Yay! I get to live within driving distance of my cousin April!Yay! Michael smiled with his teeth and looks great!
Yeah... we're pretty hip...

Autumn.

2007-10-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

We're having a lovely Autumn here in Wheaton, IL this year. Crisp and cool and colorful as all autumns should be. In celebraction of autumn I highly suggest any of the following activities as I have tried them all out for myself and found them to be quite pleasing.
-Make a point of smashing every crunchy leaf you walk by
-Eat loads of butternut squash
-Carve a pumpkin
-Walk through an apple orchard after it's harvested and take bites of various apples that have fallen on the ground.
-Make a turkey hand drawing
-Buy halloween candy "for other people" and then eat a bunch of it yourself
-Eat a carmel apple (I have one sitting on my dresser waiting for me to enjoy it, even as we speak).

2007-10-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, I really just can't think of anything to write about these days. Aside from narcissitic recounting of events in my life. And somehow this just doesn't seem like the right place to recount deeper more personal things - sending them off into a void where they may be encountered by people I love or by people I don't even know.
It would be nice to write again though. I realized as I was coaching Michael on paper writing today that I haven't been challenged to think or articulate on any sort of an abstract or theoretical level in months and months. I wish I missed it enough to actually just do it on my own... but when does that ever happen?

Interesting things:

2007-09-24T14:19:00.000-07:00

-I saw Archbishop Akinola (archbishop of the Anglican church of Nigeria, one of Time (duh, thanks dad) magazine's top 100 most influential people) speak twice in the last two days. We had protestors outside our church service.

-I walked through a simiulation of a refugee camp in Grant Park, Chicago.

-I am definetly in love. No question.

What have you always wanted to do...

2007-09-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

...just because you know you can't? I got to do just that last night. Ah the perks of being an RA! (no I wasn't wearing a fancy dress, that picture is just a prophesy of the actual event).

One final day.

2007-09-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day of being wild and crazy. My last day to be immature and irrisponsible. Following this day I will be 22 years old. This seems to indicate I must from now on be indipendent, responsible, and driven. I must walk boldly ahead into my furture. If I were my sister I would be graduated from college and just about to get married by now.
But wait, I found a loop hole. I'm still in college for 2 more years and completely dependent on my parents! Whew. I would just like to say, in the ever poignant words of MxPx, "Responsibility. What's that? Responsibility. Not quite yet." Thank goodness.

Looking up.

2007-09-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

I'm almost all better now. Further, a weird glitch in my schedule which requires me to change it around a little has changed it so that I am now taking the easiest half a semester of my life. Well, at least of Wheaton... which is quite welcome with all of the other things requried of me at this time.
God is teaching me to be less selfish with my time too, and I'm glad. It's a lesson that is better to learn sooner rather than later.
So things are looking up.

Go figure.

2007-09-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

So of course I got sick on my first day of classes. Like not just a little bit sick. More like unable to get out of bed sick. But I don't have a fever today and things are looking up, and my friends and my wonderful boy have been very sweet to me the past few days. Now we have a 3 day weekend so hopefully that will be enough time for me to fully recover and be ready to hit the books hard on Tuesday. Also my internet is no longer working. It's a little discouraging since I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed with all my extra commitments, but you know what they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." And at this point it looks like I'm going to make it through alive, though I might not have been quite so sure if you asked me yesterday or the day before.

And it has begun.

2007-08-29T08:19:00.001-07:00

Today is the first day of classes. It's finally really here. This past week has been a blur of being overloaded with information about every detail an RA could ever possibly need to know, checking in all the girls on my floor, and seeing dear friends. It's been hard at times and marvelous at others. I've already decided I'm a failure as an RA more than once and that I'm not at all fit for the job - and then at other times I've realized it's only the beginning and I have pleanty of time to get it all down. I can honestly say the Lord has been amazingly faithful the last few days. I hit a wall a couple times and didn't think I could do it and he so graciously stepped in and reminded me that of course I can't do it, that's why I have to rely on him. He has also been so wonderful and putting people in my life, a few girl friends and my dear boy, who remind me of that when I am too overwhelmed to remember it myself. It looks like this won't be the easiest year of my life, but I'm excited because I think I'll learn a lot - and not mostly from the classroom either (sadly I have finished most of my classes for my major and am stuck taking a bunch of Gen Ed's this term).
I appreciate any prayers any of you have prayed for me this past week. I've needed them badly at times and I'm sure I'll continue to need them. I am very encouraged at the moment though. My Jesus really does love me.

6 months.

2007-08-25T19:59:00.001-07:00

And it just keeps getting better and better.

August in pictures

2007-08-23T10:10:00.001-07:00

That's right, she was about to get married. And she wasn't joking around.

You know you've found a keeper when he buys you a kite for your 1 month anniversary (or at least tries to and succeeds on the second try). We flew it on the Oregon coast. It just doesn't get much better than that does it?

My favorite place.

My favorite geographical location: Oneada falls.

My two favorite boys. Getting to know each other.

No photos yet.

2007-08-21T14:56:00.000-07:00

I wanted to follow up on my previous promise to include photos of the listed activities I have enjoyed in the last month - it might be a while because wireless is down on campus, so I can't use my computer for a bit.
We're in the thick of RA training right now. It's kind of tiring because it's a lot of meetings and information all day long and then I have to use most of my spare moments to continue setting up my floor and my room - but it's alright. I'm just happy I don't have any meeting tonight.
My floor will start filling up on Thursday when my 8 transfers should arrive for orientation week, then the other 4 girls should be there sometime later that week. Classes start next wednesday.
Mmmm, at least Michael's here right now. Makes it all so much better.

Woops!

2007-08-20T11:46:00.000-07:00

So an intire month has passed and I haven't blogged once. I have failed you all miserably. I am truly sorry, and I humbly repent. (Ooo, is it ok to use liturgy out of context? Oh well, few of you probably recognize it as such anyway).
So much has happened in the last month too!
-Jenny got married! I was a bridesmaid. It was an incredible wedding. I can't believe my dear Jenny's all grown up and married now!
-Michael came to visit for over a week and it was one of the best weeks of my life. It was so fun to show him off to all my loved once and so off all my favorite places to him.
-My sister and Viggo and my adorable nephew Daniel came to visit. Michael got to meet them too, and hold his very first baby, my nephew. (We like to refer to Daniel as our "love child" because a. it's funny and b. he was born the day after we started "going steady" so we like to think that his growth is a reflection of the growth of our love. Which means we're almost crawling and we laugh when tickled!)
-My family went on vacation to Lumi Island of the San Juan Islands in Washington. It was really fun and relaxing and great family time, and A LOT of gathering around the baby smiling really big at him time.
-Michael turned 20. For one month we are only 1 year apart instead of 2! We're loving it. (Actually we never think of it, because it makes no difference in us as a couple, but it's still fun to say).
-I returned to Wheaton, was picked up by three of my good friens and hit the floor running with preparation for being an RA this coming year.
-All of the RAs and other student leaders went on a week long camp at Wheaton's camp, which is called "Honey Rock" in Northern Wisconsin. It was a great time to get to know all my fellow Upper Class Halls RAs and also Michael was there and a few other good friends of ours, so it was great to have a mix of meeting new people and spending time with already dear ones. I remembered that camping is wonderful, but discovered that canoeing for long periods of time is not.
-Now I'm back on campus getting things ready. Students start arriving on Thursday! I am on the smallest floor on campus. I only have 13 women, while several of floors have as many as 50, and nine of my women are transfer students, so I'm really looking forward to that.

It should be a good but busy year.
I would really like to include pictures of all of these various things right now, but I don't have time and my interenet's being slow. I'll try and do a complementary picture list to this word list soon though.
I'm sorry for being so remiss in my blogging duties. Forgive me?

2007-07-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

There's something indescribably comforting about rain in the middle of summer. A single dark day in the middle of so much light. It helps me breathe a little easier.

Love for who?

2007-07-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

We have all heard that as Christians we are called to Love. Many of us today are increasingly being convicted that this is how the world will best know Christ - through love. 1 John tells us repeatedly that this love must not be in word alone, but in deeds. Because of this we see today an influx of community service by certain branches of the church. Other believers, reacting to this, hold ever more fervently to the importance of verbal evangelism. There is a strong sentiment that deeds alone are not enough, but must be accompanied by the words of truth. And so some sort of a debate has begun.
Being of the certain age and social group that I am, I am admittedly drawn to one of these models above the other, though I see the argument of both sides. However, is it possible that both have missed the mark?

One of my favorite bible passages to contemplate these days is Acts 2:44-47. It reads, "All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
As I read this the first thing to stick out to me is the communal living of the early church. Lofty thoughts of Karl Marx and the abolition of private property automatically spring to mind. However, as much as I do long to violently slay this monster of greed living inside of me which claims things for myself to the exclusion of others - something else struck me about this passage today.
This was the words, "And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." We notice in this passage that the church has staged no major outreach event. This passage describes neither a wide spread influx of door to door evangelism - nor does it describe the church helping the needy of the city and thereby winning them over to Salvation.
There is great love in this passage. A love that drives people to share all their possessions and care for those in need. But WHO is this love directed towards? It is directed towards other members of the church! Could it be that this is the missing component to our evangelistic strategies today? That we have viewed evangelism or "outreach" as our culture has taught us to - that in order to draw more people in, you must reach out. In short: marketing. But is the gospel ever in line with the common sense messages of our culture? Rarely. Could it be that the best method of drawing people into the church is to love and care for and spend time with those who are already members of it?
This teaching is hard to accept because it calls us to a level of trust in God's work instead of our own that we are not accustomed to bearing. It takes the responsibility for drawing unbelievers into the truth away from us and places it in God's hands. Can we really trust him to do this work?

Finally I will conclude by quelling any fears that by this I am saying we should end all efforts at "out reach" - whatever your particular congregation defines that as being. By no means am I saying that. I believe that the excitement of this Truth that we know should be so bubbling over the edges of our soul, and thereby out of our mouths, that we cannot help but share the message of Christ with any unbeliever who we have an opportunity to share it with. I believe that we should be so filled with gratitude for the Love Christ has shown us that we are equipped and able to love all people at a radical level which includes caring for their physical, emotional, and mental needs - whether they are in the church or not. This comes as a matter of course.

But in this let us not forget what Jesus said, "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, by your love for one another." John 13:35

...Was blind, but now I see.

2007-07-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

My wildest dreams have come true. After 16 years of terrible eye sight, being blind on every occasion of swimming, and not being able to read the clock when I wake up in the morning, I am forever rid of nearsightedness! That's right ladies and gentlemen, I am a successful survivor of this amazing new thing the kids are calling "Lasic Surgery."

The road to full eyesight was a little windy. I went up last Thursday expecting to be fully cured of blindness, but alas they could not secure a good suction on my right eye though they tried repeatedly. As a result only my left eye was fixed and I was more than a little traumatized by the experience. Yesterday, which was Monday, I returned to the Beaverton clinic for a second try on that tricksy right eye, and this time, success! And with none of the fright instilling failures of the first time. Quick and simple and now... I have sight! I wake up in the morning and I can see!

The only downside to this procedure, besides the first few hours of pain, is that it broke the capillaries in both of my eyes causing the whites of my eyes to turn bright red. Over the next few days they will turn yellow, and then green, which has the effect of startling many an unsuspecting customer at my coffee shop, causing my little brothers friends to run away from me in fear, and more than one explanation that I am in fact neither stoned, abused, or possessed by any evil spirit.

The upside is that I have the best boyfriend in the entire world, and he managed to send me a beautiful bouquet of flowers even though he himself is travelling around Argentina and Brazil. Eyesight and flowers from my dearest all in the same day?! I am overwhelmed. The Lord has been good to me indeed.

Is he the sweetest, or what? I can't even believe it.

This is after significant improvement. You should have seen them the first couple days after surgery... Thankfully it didn't happen in my right eye again yesterday...

Dramatic Chipmunk

2007-07-02T11:08:00.001-07:00

Just way too good not to share. Thank you Alex Wilgus.

Daniel talks to his friend the Bee

2007-06-05T16:13:00.001-07:00

How cute is my nephew? He talks to his Bee more than he talks to his parents. He's in love.

Really?

2007-06-04T10:15:00.001-07:00

Really? That was me? I did all of that? Weird.

Pictures from Spring 2005. (In no particular order because they loaded onto my computer in no particular order.)

Shopping in Firenzie (aka Florence).
Hamburg, Germany. You can tell by the girth of the men.
Eating gellato in front of the Collesium in Rome.
Hiking in Cinque Terre, Italy.
Night long bus ride. Long tube ride. Way too many blocks to the hostel in London. Equals: Passing out on the ground before we make it there.

Lived there for 6 months. (Capernwray Hall, England).
Chillin in London.
Rahel and Rebecca and I sleeping on a grassy knoll in the Austrian alps, just a few feet up the trail from our school.
Rome.
Cinque Terre, In Italy.

Trubadors on the Charles Bridge in Prague.

The joy of recovering what was lost!

2007-05-30T12:09:00.000-07:00

Over a year and a half ago my hard-drive crashed. Through the process of some unfortnate events, I lost everything that it contained. Including all of my pictures from Europe. All of them. Gone. I've recently been deeply regretting this loss, but today the tides have changed. While shuffling through old cds I came across a burned cd labled "Pamela's Plethora of Pictures." I forgot this, but sometime after arriving at Spring school I apparently had copied over 800 pictures onto a disk and mailed it to my parents. Now all of my travell pictures and even a good handful from Austria are returned to me! What great joy and relief. Perhaps I shall post a few gems once they're all loaded onto my computer.

In other news: My baby's in Argentina and I miss him terribly. But I realize... this too will pass.
In other other news: My baby nephew is terribly adorable.

California is for lovers.

2007-05-22T19:35:00.001-07:00

Looking hot at Dineyland.

Michael's friend Luke. A terrific triciclic addition.
Michael's sister Michelle was great. It was so great to get to know her.

I miss him already.

Unexpected.

2007-05-11T14:54:00.001-07:00

I really hope this doesn't constitute bragging. I'm just so surprized I must share it. Somehow I managed to get straight A's this term! How that happened in the hardest term of my undergrad career in which I also got my first boyfriend ever, I have no idea. I'm thinking there must have been some curving involved and most of my classes were with Seniors who just didn't care anymore... or something like that... Anyway, quite a pleasant surprize...

In other news: just 3.5 more days and I'll be in California.
I can't wait.

Jumping into summer.

2007-05-08T14:37:00.000-07:00

Nothing like jumping on the tramp with your little bro with the hose spraying under it to usher in the summer!
In other news: I think I got a job working at my favorite coffee shop! Yay!

Home for the summer.

2007-05-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

I'm finished with school.
I'm at my parents home for the summer.
I'm going to California in 10 days.
I'll write more later.
peace!

2 Classes Down 2 To Go.

2007-04-30T16:28:00.000-07:00

Today was "reading" day - the Monday before finals where no classes or finals are scheduled. It was unexpectantly delightful thanks to:
-Pancakes with Nutella and coffee with vanilla creamer
-An unplanned excursion to Oak Park
-Falafel
-Ben and Jerry
-The archetecture of Frank Llyod Wright
-A wildflower park
-Sweet songs for the ride.
and of course...
-The company of my favorite boy.

I know the last few posts have consisted of little more than my most pleasant moments/days. It's true that this is one of the happier times of life that I've experienced. However, this doesn't mean I'm not thinking about things or that hard days don't come sometimes too... but when I do get a chance to post in the midst of this business, I usually want to share with you all who I love, these happy and blissful moments, so that you can enjoy them a little too.

My brain hurts.

2007-04-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

8 more days of this.

Rosie Thomas and Dennison Witmer!

2007-04-15T21:15:00.000-07:00

I got to go into the city tonight with my very favorite boy and see them play. They're so terrific and talented and hilarious. I really wish I had pictures. Rosie Thomas did like this comedian act where she dressed up and just became this carachter named Shiela for like 15-20 min. before Dennison played. So funny. But a lot of standing in a crowded room, haven't been to one of those types of shows in a while... I'm not as young as I used to be! Oi, my aching back!

A real college student.

2007-04-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

Today I was a college student in just the romanitc way I've always dreamed of being.
I woke up early this morning becuase it was the only time my Social Research group could meet to work on our project and proceeded to get myself quite energized thanks to a steaming cup of coffee purchased at the campus coffee shop.
I then worked for a few hours (thanks to that blessed caffine high) and accomplished much in the way of learning.
Next I had a nice lunch with my boyfriend (who I met in a college class no less) and from there we retreated to a coffee shop for a couple more hours of working (though admittedly slightly less productive in his distractingly pleasant company).
This evening we had dinner and played some ping pong in the college lounge, and THEN (this is where the realization of my dream really reaches its pinnacle):
I went with 3 of my best girlfriends to a showing of Ingmar Bergman's "Winter Light" (a black and white Swedish film about a pastor losing his faith) followed by a stunningly intellectual conversation led by probably the most brilliant professor on campus (I'm currently reading a book by him assigned to by a different professor and it is incredible) and participated in by my brilliant class-mates.
A black and white foreign film in a chilly college auditorium. Few true life experiences are more romantic than that...
If only I'd played frisbee on the lawn...

Tidbits

2007-04-12T20:43:00.000-07:00

So I got to meet Michael's mom this week. She is very nice and very cool and it was very fun.

I am just now recovering from the past week's illness enough to realize how much work I am about to be bombarded with in the next 3 weeks. Lord save me!
So that might mean you won't be hearing from me for a while... or it might mean you'll be hearing from me more often since I'll probably be spending a lot of time sitting at my computer wanting to procrastinate. Only time will tell.

It freaking snowed yesterday and today. SNOWED. Ggrrrr.Yeah... that's all I have to say about that.

He is Risen!

2007-04-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

We easily embrace the beauty of Christ's death for we can see our need of it so clearly. As we we feel the weight lifted from our shoulders by leaving our sin at the cross and as we see that ultimate portrayal of love fulfilling our deep longing to be loved - our hearts leap. We somberly rejoice for "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us." 1 John 3:16

This is good, it is great! and of course we should rejoice and our hearts should be stirred as we embrace this love which we see through his death - but let us never stop there and so miss the power of his resurrection. As we see our need for forgiveness and our longing to be loved which is answered by his death, let us also see our need for his POWER which enables us live in the fullness of new life that he has given us through his resurrection. Let us have hearts that, once they have embraced his love and forgiveness, would ardently desire to "Know Christ and the Power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so somehow to attain the resurrection from the dead!" Phil 3:10-11.

He is risen indeed!

Day At the Museum.

2007-04-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

Our Human Origins class (which is in fact the class where Michael and I met) went on a field trip to the Field Museum in Chicago to see the evolution exhibit (gasp! evolution! relax, we still believe in God as the creator...). It wouldn't have been a bad field trip anyway, but was immesurably better since this guy was there with me.
So this is Micael and I with Lucy (the earliest full hominid fossil, Austrolopithecus Afarensus). She's totally checking Michael out... I can't blame her...

Here's Michael posing ("Come on Pamela... why do you keep making me take pictures in the Museum...") in front of this sweet T-Rex. I discovered that this is in fact the very same Museum (and Dinosaur) used in the hit film "Night At the Museum" starring Ben Stiller (it sucked, don't waste your time).
Aw, we're so cute. (Yeah... he knitted that scarf).

This is from the Aquarium, which we didn't go to. But this statue was just way to delightfully awkward not to take a picture of.

Ok, in other news: I do have some actual things I've been thinking about and should/will probably post about soon - blogger just hasn't been working recently so I'm taking advantage of being able to post pictures as long as I can! But as this post is pretty long already just with those pictures I will save other thoughts for other times.
Happy Holy Week everyone! Be sure and take time to meditate on the amazing sacrifice of our Savior this weekend and the love which he displayed through it.

Blogger's not letting me post anything besides titles these days. Don't know why. Sorry...

2007-04-03T16:38:00.000-07:00

Heart.

2007-03-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

My adorable boyfriend took me on our first big date last night and it was just... so great. Yeah, really really great. He brought me flowers, he took me to his favorite restaurant in the city, he bought us tickets to see one of our favorite bands play. I really couldn't have asked for a better evening. I think I couldn't have even dreamed up a better evening. So if you were wondering how things are going with the new boyfriend I can tell you - they're going great. Really really great.

This is the first guy who played. I can't remember his name, I'll ask Michael and get back to you on that... but he was really good, and hilarious in a very "what? I'm not trying to be funny" sort of way. And he had the exact same harmonica holder as Michael which made us like him just all that much more.

And then there was Amina. The 4 girls who play with Sigur Ros. They play a wide assortment of instruments including saws (as is photographed below), water glasses, bells, and stringed instruments. They usually play several different instruments throughout each song, looping them on top of each other as the song progresses. It was perfect. Beautiful, romantic, and really really good.

For their encore they all played saws of different sizes.

Here they are playing xylophone, hand bells, water glasses and who knows what else... If you ever have a chance to see Amina play you should take it, especially now when they are in small venues.
Oh and when they talked between songs their sweet little Icelandic accents reminded me of our dear Helga. Thank God for Iceland!
And thank God for terrific boyfriends and perfect dates!

Cry about it.

2007-03-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

Very brief complaining post: I really really want to go back up to my room and crawl into my bed and sleep. It's raining out and I just had too much breakfast and not quite enough sleep last night. But instead I must research more for this semi-lame project which just isn't coming together very well. I know, my life is terrible right?
You know you've got it good when this is your biggest complaint...

2007-03-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be a bridesmaid for the 3rd time this summer. This time for my most dear and beloved Jenny. I'm so excited to walk through this with her. We've been through a lot together over the years, eh Jen? Yeah... a lot. I'm so glad this is one of the happy things! Maybe the happiest yet! Yeah, definitely the happiest yet. What am I thinking, the girl's getting married!
Love you Jen!

Mmmm...

2007-03-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I just can't think of anything very inspired to say. We had a couple divinely sunny days. It was marvelous. They are gone now but the memory still lingers sweetly. (I felt the need to wax poetic there for a moment. Forgive me). It's nice to be back after a restful week. Nice to spend time with my girls and my Michael. Things are starting to really pick up school-wise. Many big papers loom over head. Have digressed into imcomplete sentences. Much like Chineese proverbs. Perhaps that is all for now.

2007-03-08T21:49:00.000-08:00

So this is pretty much what I've been doing this Spring Break. Although... the open eyes here are a bit of a rarety... Amazing isn't he?

Da baby.

2007-03-05T17:37:00.000-08:00

He really is an endless cycle of eating, burping, pooping, diaper changing, and sleeping. That really is all he does. Yet somehow it is amazing. We just sit around and look at him most of the time.
Also,
The weather here is INCREIBLE! Bright blue sunny and 60 degrees. Yesterday Sam and I long boarded from the river front to Avery Park and back and today I walked down to the llama barns and sat outside with the baby.
I haven't left my house or done hardly anything productive all day. And it has been glorious. My goodness, the Lord is good to me!

Come and see my adorable nephew!

2007-02-27T20:30:00.000-08:00

Daniel and Mommy.
Daniel and Daddy. (look at his precious little face!)
Daniel and Grandma. (my mom is now a grandma!)
Daniel and Uncle Sam.
The happy family (well 2 of them are happy at least...).

Daniel Jacob has arrived!!

2007-02-27T06:45:00.000-08:00

I'm an Aunt! I'm an Aunt! I'm an Aunt! He was born last night. He's healthy and happy - well relatively happy, I got to hear him crying over the phone - the most adorable cry I've ever heard. Poor sister is so happy to have him safely born! She has not only been in labor for over 2 months now but the final "pushing" stage took 3 full hours! But he his here! He's 7lb 2oz, not to shabby for being 3 weeks early. I will post a picture as soon as I have one.

My goodness! I have in the last 2 days become, for the first time in my life, both an Aunt and a girlfriend. Since when did life get so exciting!

So I thought you guys might like to know...

2007-02-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

...that I have a boyfriend.
His name is Michael. He's an anthropology major. He's pretty much incredible. I'm sorry I'm not going to go into massive details about anything on my blog because that strikes me as weird and kind of creepy, actually even this much feels a little bit creepy, but I knew I'd want the same from you all, so there it is. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll hear pleanty about him in the coming weeks.
Peace and love.

Warmth!

2007-02-20T14:29:00.000-08:00

The entire campus is smiling. The most common exlamation to be heard today whilst walking to class is, "It's so gorgeous out!". I went for a walk and had a smoothie. Better yet I DIDN'T WEAR A COAT! And what, you ask, is the temperature bringing on this glee? 44 degrees F. That's right brothers and sisters, we have not only gone above freezing for the first time in over a month but we have actually gone TWELVE degrees above freezing! Ah the rapturous joy. As Michael so aptly put it, "I think I had forgotten that shunshine is supposed to be warm. Like the side of my body which had sunlight hitting it was actually warmer than the otherside. I think I'd completely forgotten that that happens." It's good to be reminded.
Sometimes you have to experience the bitter cold and darkness to appreciate just how wonderful the sunshine really is.

OK ok ok.

2007-02-15T14:04:00.000-08:00

That's Michael on my left and Lauren on my right. She's from Oregon - thus the incredibly cute outfit. We are making chocolate covered strawberries with a big group of people to have an all inclusive and fun Valentines Day event with Michael's group of friends. He's actually even cuter than that in real life...

And this is Kenlee, Michael, Sheryl and I sledding on a truly midwestern attempt at a hill... which was just enough of an attempt to be quite a lot of fun.

2007-02-13T19:04:00.000-08:00

Are you ever eating hard candy and you bite it and it kind of hurts your tooth and then you feel a small rounded piece in your mouth and you wonder, is that my tooth?! so you have to take the small piece out and check if it is your tooth and are relieved to discover that it is in fact just a bit of the hard candy that you bit off. That just happened and I realized I do it almost every time I eat hard candy.

In other news: There is a guy... who I've been getting to know... who is pretty great. Pretty gosh darn great. And that's all I will say about it for now. Peace!

Apologies and extras

2007-02-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

I am aware that I have been remiss in my blogging duties of late. I don't have very good excuses, except that nothing that I've been thinking about lately has been something I've wanted to write on or display pictorally for a large audience. Intellectually my thoughts revolve mostly around social theory these days, and that's boring enough for people in my major to listen to me yammer on about, much less all the rest of you. And personally, well, yeah, nothing to say in this public space.

For now I will leave you with a stanza from my favorite poem (The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Elliot)

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To preparte a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

And now some musical reccomendations: I'm sure all of you listen to Sufjan Stevens by now, he's hitting it pretty big, but following closely on his heels are 2 of his good friends Dennison Witmer and Rosie Thomas, both Christians as well and both making remarkably delightful folk-indie music. I also recently aquired the new Shins album which is terrific, and I bought Riot on an Empty Street by the Kings of Convenience, which I've been wanting for ages and which fully lives up to all I'd hoped it would be.

My sister has not had her baby yet! This is great but she needs to actually have him relatively soon in order to be able to return to Norway with Viggo before his visa runs out, otherwise it will be kinda complicated. So our prayers will soon be changing from "keep him in there Lord!" to "let him out soon Lord!" Thank you for those who have been asking about it. We really appreciate it.

And finally, let me just say. The Lord is really beautiful. He blesses me so far beyond what I could ask or imagine, much less deserve. I hope you are all knowing that in your lives often and assuredly.

You know when...

2007-02-04T17:53:00.000-08:00

...you're thinking about one thing and then another thought flits through your mind so you try to hurry and finish the first thought so you can catch it but you're too slow and by the time you're done the second has flown up up away and far beyond your reach? Yeah. I hate that.

Oh and here's the link to this incredible video my brother made. Samuel that is, I know how Ally hates it when I don't clarify. http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1815139855 Is there anything cooler than playing tag with a chair? I don't think so.

I live in a castle. Where do you live?

2007-01-26T09:48:00.000-08:00

This is the decided upon "punchy phrase" for our Williston (my dorm) t-shirts this year. It's mostly becuase everyone calls us the Nunnery and makes fun of us becuase we're the only all girls building on campus and mostly contain quiet upperclasswomen (except transfers!) so they're being a little "fiesty". They call our building the "Red Castle" or at least I think they used to in like the 20's (it's the second oldest building on campus).

But remember when we lived in a castle for REAL?

I do. That was fun.

Some poor girl in one of my classes yesterday was being nice and asking me about what I'd done before coming to Wheaton (I think it throws people off sometimes that I didn't just come straight here from high school. you mean... there's other things you can do after high school?! but this wasn't the case this time. this was just a really nice girl) and she got me talking about Capernwray, asked a couple leading questions about it - poor thing... I was trying so hard not to gush... but how can you not?! I mean I LOVE it here at Wheaton. I really do. I love Portland and it was great to live with Aly. I had an AMAZING time in Ecuador this summer. But seriously? A whole year at bible school and travelling around Europe with your brand-new closest friends you've ever had? Can't really beat it, can you?

That's all. I know we've all moved on. But I figure we all need to continue those shout-out to '04-'05 posts every so often.

Things I AM a fan of:

2007-01-24T19:43:00.000-08:00

-Good music

-Fair trade coffee (or any coffee for that matter if I'm honest...)

-Care packages from home (yes, I'm 21 and my mummy sent me a care package. and I liked it).

-Good classroom discussion

-Making new friends and keeping the old. (one is silver and the other is... an equal but different natural recource).

-WILLISTON 2 SWIM NIGHT.

The Solid Rock.

2007-01-23T10:07:00.000-08:00

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

Refrain: On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Things.

2007-01-22T20:03:00.000-08:00

I am increasingly disgusted by our (my included) infatuation with THINGS. Why this need to constantly aquire? I am also increasingly attracted to simplicity and anti-materialism (and consequently increasingly to boys who live accordingly). At the same time, I really enjoy getting things. Not all things. And not so much when money is involved, but in all truth I honestly feel happy at the aquisition of a new cd - the Ben Kweller cd I bought yesterday has put me in a good mood for the last 24 hours. And I honestly get excited about certain purchases - for example, I just purchased high-heels for the first time in my life. Given, my excitement about this aquisition is greatly increased by the fact that they cost me only $6 on sale at Target, but the point still stands.

Actually, I don't really have a point. More of an observation, and a bit of a wonder. I wonder where these conflicting values will lead me? Will I continue to learn the value of simplicity and live the latter part of my life in humble setting without many things around me as I would honestly hope to... or will I be seduced away by the euphoria of a well chosen purchase and by the increased spending power which the post-college years generally offer?
I don't honestly know. But I think I'll start to pray about it.

In other news: Jimmy has a girlfriend. Her name is Melody. She's pretty much a babe. And she's a year or more older than him. Just thought you'd like to know.

Things I'm not a fan of:

2007-01-18T20:15:00.000-08:00

War

Packing

The IMF (international monetary fund)

Three and a Half Hour long classes

Awkward Moments (and people who say they enjoy awkward moments. they're liars I tell you. LIARS).

You know how I feel about this...

2007-01-14T09:52:00.000-08:00

Today I was talking to a lady at church about joining her women's bible study (I love my church, but they always want to hook me into a college group or singles ministry... I don't need any more fellowship with people my age, I need real people! but that's a rant for another day) she was quite nice and after I wrote my name on her sign up sheet for information about the bible study she read it and asked if I prefer Pamela or Pam. I told her I prefer Pamela. I realized that since I do prefer Pamela it is silly to tell people I don't care... not that I care a lot... just a preference. So anyway, she acknowledges this. A minute later she calls a friend over to meet me and she says, "Hey I want you to meet Pam, she's interested in joining our bible study." Really? I mean I just told you. You ASKED. Really? Pam?
Also when I told her I was an anthropology major she said, "Oh! then you'll really like this study that we're doing studying the Patriarchs, it's all about ancient history." "Umm, well I don't really study ancient history so much as current cutlures, but yeah, that does sound interesting." "ooohhh, so that's different than archeology then?" Hehe. I really can't blame them though. This is a very typical response. Why would you know what anthropology is if you never took an intro class or had a friend in the major? You probably wouldn't. Is it snobby to have a major that normal people don't know what it is?
And then I got lost when I was trying to leave the church building. which is actually a high school. so... who's the dumb one now?
Those are my stories for today. I'm going to take a nap now. It's going to be glorious.