True things are much different than they were those terrible first two weeks here. I've gained comfort and am finding a place, and I praise the Lord for that. However, things haven't been always easy either. These are some difficult things I need prayer for right now:
Please pray that I will find a friend who will be open with me about her pains and joys and who will invite me to be open with her about mine. I'm slowly growing more comfortable with people, though I still have a ways to go on even that, but I am starting to long for something more than just not feeling awkward. I long for someone to notice when I'm hurting and to reach out to me, but despite my best efforts I haven't found this person yet.
Please pray that I will resolve difficulties in my job, be able to communicate with my boss despite very different communication styles, and that I will understand the work they want me to do. It's hard to explain, but there are some big cultural differences that can make aspects of my work really frustrating. They have a tendency to throw a lot of information at me without any background, and to explain things circularly not linearly, which leaves me confused and often frustrated. This has been hard in the past, but now it is a matter of throwing around fluid concepts which I am supposed to understand concretely enough to write an effective survey, and expecting me to start doing things when I'm still trying to figure out what they want me to do. I feel trapped by not being able to understand and by not being able to get things explained well. To be honest I'm dreading going to work tomorrow.
Pray that in lonliness I will continue to seek the Lord and find rest in him. I want to live these moments, not just push through them. Pray for a patience that is rooted in hope that will allow me to do this. All too often I feel like I'm still just checking off the days and weeks until I'm done.